35 weeks

I am posting this from my phone for the first time so we shall see how this goes. I am just over everything at this point and this week. I am ready to say fuck it at this point and be done with all of it and live the next 4 weeks living our lives as normal as possible. But I know I can't do that I would not be okay doing that but this being somewhere 3 times a week is for the birds. I am so sick of doctors appointments and testing. I miss my kids so much I feel like they have sacrificed so much this summer. I feel like we have too. That we could gave done this or gone there if it wasn't for all these places that I have to be. Life is not fair I know this but..... Why does it have to be us? Why are we the ones that have been chosen to endure this challenge. I have faith that everything is going to be okay but... I am trying hard to let go and let God be in complete control but that is so much easier said then done. I want to bring my baby home when i come home. I want to nurse him when he's born I don't want to miss a thing but....

I know that we have been blessed to live where we live. To have awesome doctors and hospitals so close but I never thought I would have to be the to use them. We have been so lucky to watch Noah grow and develop via ultra sound at least weekly if not twice a week. I have seen him sucking his hand and his cheeks get fat :) I get to watch him push the ultrasound probe away when someone scanning has worn out their welcome. The girls at the maternal fetal center at St E have been amazing I thank them for everything the last 4 months and I can't wait to take Noah to meet them. They have become friends :)

This next week is crazy for us. Colton goes to church camp Makayla has her intro to middle school :( I have an on appointment and we see the cardiologist at Children's for the last time. I also am going to a doctors appointment with my mom. On top of all of that my grandma Wayman passed away last evening so we will have the services this week. We have almost made it if we can just hang on for at least 1 more week I will be one excited momma